How to be the luckiest man on the planet- Jon Owen

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Just over a week ago I got to hold her face in my hands, kiss her on the forehead and then place a bracelet on her wrist that Lisa and I had picked out for her. Since she was 12 the handful of dates we have been on are the only times we know that anyone has ever taken her out on a date. As a beautiful young woman she is not short on male attention, but sorely lacks any affection. My heart breaks.

My own daughters are growing up way too fast. My dad jokes are rapidly losing their power, I’m losing influence in their lives. Asking them to pull my finger still elicits a flicker of recognition but misquoting song lyrics draws deep groans where once it drew marvel. It’s hard to escape feeling like a nothingman at home.

So in a desperate effort I took my daughters out for a series of one on one daddy daughter dates, doing whatever they chose to do. For one it smashing a rib platter together, for another it was a night out at the theatre.

On the last date, as I sat there with my highly independent nearly 13 year old falling asleep on my shoulder for the first time in Lord knows how long it struck me:

“Not only am I the luckiest man alive I also hope that I just raised the bar a little” Especially from what they will expect from their future partners in terms of how they should be treated. I also hope that if I continue to be a part of their lives I will eliminate a whole host of prospective partners who treat women as objects because they simply will not get a look in. That’s a better long term plan than buying a shotgun.

It’s never too late to raise the bar for those of us with daughters. We can all be the luckiest men on earth.

I wonder if there would be so desperation in people’s hearts if more dad’s had pushed in when all the signals were telling us to pull away.

So many ways discussed about tackling social issues centre around “it stops with me.” Well dad’s with daughters let’s all tackle this one from the other direction “It starts with me”.

Till we gather again, I’m looking forward to our next date.

Jon Owen

Title: How to be the luckiest man on the planet
Author: Jon Owen
Format:Blog Post
Published: 2015
Year Published: Urban Neighbours of Hope

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